Lucy's Dress

Long before Lucy, I envisioned having my own wedding dress remade into a dress for my future daughter one day.  The dress is very simple, nothing fancy but classic.  If I cut it to a tea length dress, there would surely be enough material around the bottom to make a dress for my sweet baby…

Then along came Lucy, born right around Easter time, and my dream became a 

plan for Lucy's first Easter dress.  What once was this:

has now become this...

Happy first Easter, little one.

When We Shine and Tell Our Story...

Sweet Lucy,

Your life story started out a little differently.  It wasn't exactly what your daddy and I had in mind, and it wasn't ideal, but we would never change it.  We had the opportunity to learn first-hand how God is so faithful and so big and so wonderful.  He takes ALL things, even things we would have never chosen for ourselves, and weaves them together to make something good.  No, great.  And powerful.  And moving.  And extraordinary.

So, we celebrated your first birthday a little differently.  I'd seen friends do acts of kindness to celebrate with their children, and I really liked the idea.  It seemed a very fitting way to celebrate your miraculous healing and your first of many healthy birthdays, God willing.

Some things we did in honor of your first birthday were:

Personal delivery of a special gift to the most special of friends to remind her that 

long-lasting friendships are precious and life is, indeed, so very good.

Donations to the pregnancy center because babies are precious gifts from God, however they come.

Breakfast for your Children's Ministry shepherds who speak the 

word of God into the tiny hearts of our little ones each weekend.  

We all skipped school and work to spread some kindness on your actual birthday, and our first stop was Julia's Bakery.  We loaded up on pink boxes and set out to shine some light as a family.

Cookies for Mom and Dad's co-workers

A dozen cupcakes for the NICU

We even got to spend a few minutes with Missy, one of the nurses who cared for you while you stayed in the NICU for treatment and healing.  It was almost as if you remembered her.  You reached right to her when you saw her again.

Your brother left sticker books for all the big brothers to-be in the waiting room of labor and delivery.  

He picked flowers from the back yard and delivered them to both nurses stations.

We left a cupcake for Belinda, the nurse who helped deliver you, to find when she came in for night shift.  Believe me, girlfriend, we were both in good hands with Belinda.

We stopped by Chik-fil-A for some lunch, and while we were at it, 

we bought lunch for the people behind us too.

You took a cookie break...

Ms. Jessica joined us for the afternoon while Daddy slept to prepare for night shift.  We visited our good friend Ms. Foster and complimented her beautiful flower garden in bloom.

Sam brought some "tasty carrots" to his friends, Buddy and Dutchess.

We sugared up our favorite pediatrician and his staff with Julia's cookies.

And, left a basket of toys and books for the waiting room at the doctor's office.

Visited your preschool at snack time to bring cookies to your classmates and teachers.

But, that's not all.  We asked our friends and family and those who love you to join us in shining our light and showing kindness to others.  We shared cards with a link to your story and encouraged people to share their acts and experiences with us, so we could one day share them with you.  

And, you know what, sweet girl?  They did, in a big way.  So many wonderful stories to tell.  Kind hearts to celebrate.  Nice gestures to honor.  Jesus is surely alive in the hearts of those who love him.  

I know in my heart that your birthday lit up the world for Jesus and made him smile.  I know this isn't even a complete list, but so far, as of today, the count is 107.  One hundred and seven acts of kindness done on your birthday to celebrate a girl whose name means "light" and the big God who healed her.  

And for whatever reason, I was pondering that number, and its importance and it made me think of the Psalms, the songs of David.  Probably because it's the only book in the Bible with chapters numbers that high.  So, I decided to read Psalm 107…

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, his love endures forever.  

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.  Psalm 107

Oh, my little love, do you have a story to tell about a God who is good!

Meeting More Family

It was a big weekend for little Lucy.  First weekend trip to Nani's house.  

First trip to Mississippi.  First time meeting the bigger brothers.  First time sleeping through the night!  

(Although she hasn't duplicated the latter mentioned event since)

It was a big weekend of travel for our family.  Michael drove to Texas to pick up the boys.  Sam, Lucy and I stayed with Nani and drove over to visit with our Columbus crew on Saturday morning.  What was a normal visit turned into a huge Christmas in June gathering thanks to one post on Facebook.  Social media has its benefits.

When we arrived at Grandmom and Grandad's house, we piled out of the cars and went straight to new introductions.  Lucy, meet your bigger brothers...

Sam sorta lost his "shiny new dime" status when baby Lucy arrived, but he doesn't mind.  Whenever asked, he says, "I wuv bay Wucy sooo much!"  

Next, Lucy met her great grandmother after which she was named, Margaret Shackelford.  This is a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.  A works hard without complaint, displays wisdom and compassion, shows kindness and humility and strength all the same breath kind of lady.  All the qualities I pray little Lucy displays as she grows into a strong woman of God.

Four generations of daughters in one photo

 After we got all the greetings out of the way, Aunt Donna and Uncle Allen (now known as Pops and Nana) hosted a grill out party with enough food to feed and army.  Joyce and her girls came too.  It was so great to see them and their kiddos.  It had been too long.  I'm voting we make this kind of get-together an annual event!  So fun, and so nice to see the Mississippi crew.
(Minus a very few)

Healthy and Happy at Home

Sorry for the delay in posting an update on our sweet girl.  It's been pretty busy around here, and Momma is tired, but happy, oh so happy.  All my babies are home and safe in their beds at night.  Or, as my Grammy says, "Lucy's finally got her caboosey at home!"  Lucy's platelet levels are holding steady, and we are told this whole thing is just, over.  She is healed.  No long term effects.  It's just a rare thing that has worked itself out now.  God is good!

These are some photos from the hospital the night before we brought Lucy home.  Nani brought Sam up to meet his little sister for the first time.  I've heard stories of siblings welcoming (and not so welcoming) their new baby into the family, and I have to say Sam is a natural big brother.  

He loves Lucy so much!

Sam brought the bunny rabbit he made for Lucy to the hospital to give to her.  

And, Lucy had a present for Sam too.  Sam has been wanting "Charlie" the steam engine for his collection.  I guess Lucy was listening, and that's just what she gave him when they met.

Nani got a chance to finally hold her healthy granddaughter.

Be still, my heart! 

 Sam wanted to hold Lucy's hand and sing to her.  Together with Daddy, they sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul" to little Lucy while she slept.  I thought my heart was going to swell out of my chest!

I'm not sure it gets any cuter than this!  

What a blessing it is to have two healthy, happy babies!

By lunch time on Sunday, we were home with our girl.  Nani, Anamana, and all the boys were waiting to welcome us home (and hold the baby.)  All the boys are so very good with Lucy.  

She is a lucky little girl to have so many boys who will watch out for her.  

Sam wants Lucy to be a part of everything he does.  We were reading books before bed, and we HAD to bring baby Lucy with us.  So, off to Sam's big boy room we went to read until both kiddos had fallen asleep, together.  

Did I mention what a great helper Sam has become?!?

One morning, the house fell a little too silent, so I called out, "Sam, what are you doing?"  A small reply from another room said, "Oh, I'm just pumping..."  So, I put down what I was doing and found Sam in Lucy's room, like this... He's proud to help out however he can, my boy.

He feeds Lucy her bottles and even asks to "burp" her.  I'm amazed at how fast he is catching on to all this new baby stuff.  He sure is a smart and compassionate big brother.  

I am thankful for all the prayers of our friends, family, and even caring strangers who supported us through a stressful start.  And, most importantly, I am grateful to a loving God who has granted us the desire of our hearts.  Everything is right in my world.  My babies are healthy and happy at home.  

Sunday's Coming

At our church, we have a phrase of hope when things are tough.  "It might be Friday now, but Sunday's coming."  It stems from an Easter service where we contrasted the hopelessness of Good Friday to the overwhelming joy and promise that Sunday morning would bring.  The application of that Easter message to our lives has never hit closer to home for me, than right now...

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, nurses came to tell me my newborn baby girl was in the NICU with dangerously low platelet levels.  Normal range is somewhere between 150-200 thousand.  Hers were 9,000. She could possibly have bleeding in her brain and major organs.  There were no answers yet for why this was happening to my baby.  I couldn't see her, hold her, or feed her. 

That was Tuesday, but Sunday's coming...

By Wednesday morning, my two-day old daughter had undergone a blood platelet transfusion.  She was being tested for a full gamut of infections, blood disorders, and dangerous viral diseases with long term effects.  Still no real answers for what was going on inside my girl. 

That was Wednesday, but Sunday's coming...

Thursday rolled around, and Lucy had undergone a second platelet transfusion.  This time her levels one hour after transfusion were 198k, which was a big step in the right direction, the first time we crossed into safe platelet levels so far.  However, she was still not holding on to her gains, and she dropped back down to 108k twelve hours later. 

That was Thursday, but Sunday's coming...

Friday marked the first day that little Lucy was making progress in the right direction on her own.  Without transfusions or IVIG treatments, she increased her own platelet levels by 7,000.  A small gain, but we would take it.  Dr. Walker seemed fairly confident that Lucy was not suffering from an infection or a life-threatening virus after all.  She was tentatively diagnosed with neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia.  Still no discussion about when our girl could come home though. 

That was Friday, but Sunday's coming...

Saturday morning, this morning, we made our usual call to the NICU to check on our girl's progress and found out her platelet counts had come up to 236k without any interventions!  Her body was winning the fight!  We celebrated our biggest win yet and prayed right then giving thanks to our God who is faithful to answer prayers and fulfill the desires of our hearts.  We headed to the hospital to visit our girl to find her detached from all wires, tubes, and monitors.  Dr. Walker came over to inform us Lucy was being released and could go home with us...tomorrow...Sunday. 

Right now, I type this post from a complimentary hospital room with my healthy baby girl asleep beside me.  We are "rooming in" with her tonight.  She finally got to meet her big brother this evening, and he is enthralled with her.  She will go in for one last set of lab tests in the morning, and provided all goes well, we will take her home around lunch tomorrow. 

It's Saturday now, and praise God, Sunday's coming! 

Along Came Lucy

What a whirlwind these last couple of days have been.  Perhaps I should start from the top...

Monday morning on my way to school, I knew something was different about the way I was feeling.  By the time I got to school, I thought my water may have broken, but since I had never experienced that before and it wasn't like I'd seen in the movies, I wasn't sure.  Shortly after, I began having contractions, nothing too strong or serious, but noticeable.  I began timing them on my phone and they were coming fairly steady at five minutes apart.  But, I could talk and teach through them, so I did...all day until 8th period rolled around and it was hard to keep a straight face in front of students about every 3 minutes.  I skipped the faculty meeting and called Michael to ask him to meet me at my doctor's office to be checked; we might be having a baby today.  Sure enough, I was 5 centimeters dilated and water was broken, so we headed to the hospital.  By the time I got checked into a room and settled, I was at 7 centimeters.  Epidural, check.  Thirty minutes and four pushes later, we had a baby at 7:21 pm weighing in a 8lb. 1 oz. and 20.5 inches long.  It was just that easy.  I thank God for such an easy delivery, because I would need every ounce of strength I had a little later...

When Lucy was born she was VERY bruised, especially her face and shoulders.  We didn't think too much of it at the time because being born is a traumatic experience and some babies bare the marks. However, this was the first sign that something wasn't quite right with Lucy.  We bonded together for about an hour right after birth and then the nursery took her for labs, weight check and a bath.  When she came back again, she had started to develop a rash of speckly red dots on her head and other parts of her body.  Again, babies are born all colors, no worries.  She nursed well, and all was right with the world.

The nursery came in early the next morning to take her for her checkup with the pediatrician, and by 6:30 two nurses came back to our room to inform us that Lucy was being transferred immediately to the NICU.  They explained that the rash had spread all over her body and caused them to run some blood tests.  The results showed she had a severe blood platelet issue.  Normal platelet levels are somewhere between 150,000 and 400,000.  Lucy's platelet levels were 9,000.  She was diagnosed with neonatal thrombocytopenia.  Something was attacking her platelets, and her blood had almost no clotting ability.  What we thought was a rash and bruises was actually internal bleeding.

We were stunned into silence.  We couldn't see our baby.  We couldn't hold her.  I couldn't feed her.  We hadn't spoken to a  doctor.  All we could do was wait, and pray.  So that's what we did.  Immediately, we gave Lucy to our Healer in prayer and claimed complete healing in Jesus' name.  And even then, in that moment of great fear and unanswered questions, I felt God whisper, "I made her.  Don't you think I can take perfect care of her?"  And my heart had a peace, but the Momma in me was in tears.  I had to relinquish control.

The NICU doctor finally came to talk to us and explain what was going on.  She was extremely concerned about Lucy's platelet levels and observing her closely in the NICU.  She needed to be handled as little as possible.  There was a whole list of things that could be causing Lucy's condition ranging from "no big deal" to critically life-threatening.  She needed several more tests run and time to observe her.  She urged us to be patient...and stay off Google.  So we waited, and prayed, and alerted our friends and church families to pray.  Before long, our baby Lucy was on every prayer list in a tri-state radius, and we were humbled by the outpouring of love and support.

Dr. Ravenscroft decided to start a treatment of IVIG (intraveneous immunoglobulen) which would help to "protect" the platelets she had from further attack.  Shortly after, she decided a blood platelet transfusion was necessary.  I can now say from experience, signing a paper to okay a blood transfusion for your one-day old daughter is much harder than it sounds.  The doctor's priority was to at least bring Lucy's platelet count above a critical level.  We were shooting for above 50,000 after the transfusion.  The doctor also ordered a head ultrasound and chest x-rays to check for internal bleeding in her brain, heart, lungs and abdomen.  Talk about scary, but I refused to be overcome by worry and fear.  I didn't cause the situation.  I couldn't change the situation.  And, I was powerless to cure it.  But, I was completely leaning on someone who could...

I can't imagine what it must be like facing situations like these without a personal relationship with God.  There were moments when I couldn't breath.  I couldn't move.  I can't imagine processing all of this alone.  God has carried my husband and me on his shoulders.  I know so, because that's the only way I can sit here and type this right now.  By the end of day one, just when I thought I would break into tiny pieces, Lucy's platelet results after the transfusion came back at 75,000 and her x-rays and head ultrasound did not show any serious internal bleeding on her brain or major organs.  What a difference some good news can make!  My hope was renewed.  A major win for day one!

The next morning, Lucy's platelet levels had dropped back down to 45,000.  Something was still destroying her platelets, and we didn't know what.  The major suspect was alloimmune thrombocytopedia, meaning the antigens she inherited from Michael and me were attacking the platelets in her body.  Michael calls it a "street fight" in the blood.  And, believe me, with all the options on the table, this is the one we are hoping for.  Eventually, it will fix itself usually.  Still there were several tests needed to know for sure, and some of the tests wouldn't come back with results for several weeks.  The doctor ordered another round of IVIG and another blood platelet transfusion, a repeat of the prior day's events.  This time, Lucy's blood platelet results came back at 198,000 after transfusion, which was a total miracle from God.  In a day's time, Lucy had gone from 9,000 to 198,000, a normal range reading.  We just needed her to hang on to those levels...

This morning (day 3) her levels had dropped again to 108,000 still indicating a pretty aggressive level of attack.  We still don't know what, and I still haven't Googled it.  Dr. Ravenscroft says, "When you hear hoof sounds, you think horses...not zebras."  Meaning, there is a wide range of possibilities still on the table, we are going to look at the most common (and less serious) ones now, and worry about the zebras (less common and more dangerous) later.  She ordered another round of IVIG, but no transfusion this time.  We have been allowed to hold and feed her today since her levels are within a safe range, and she is not at risk of uncontrolled bleeding.  Lab results from this evening showed an increase to 130,000 platelets without a transfusion.  Another success.  All glory to God.  Again, just when I think I can't press on, God reminds me, "Lean on me.  I can handle this.  None of this has taken me by surprise."

Yet again, I have entered motherhood reminded that my children are not my own; they are His.  I am honored to have the opportunity to be Lucy's momma, but He is her Father.  He has her in the palm of his hand, and He doesn't make mistakes.  My baby girl is safe in her father's arms.  Each day, I am being refined as we live out God's plan for baby Lucy.  And just like gold must go through fire to bring out its true beauty, we must endure trials from time to time to grow closer to God and become more mature.  I am trusting and believing for complete healing and restoration of our little Lucy.